my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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