carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
