its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
