I think I died a long time ago.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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