Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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