I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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