I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
