it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
