i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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