one might say we're banned from that church
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
