Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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