I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
