"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
