Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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