Don't you send me to vm
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize