just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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