Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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