My liver just broke up with me...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
