thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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