i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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