I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
