More tranny stories later!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
