i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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