let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
