im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
