Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
