How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
