well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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