Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
