thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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