Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
