they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
