I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize