I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
