At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
