So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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