Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
