I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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