Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize