i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
