She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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