I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
