Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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