I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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