yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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