i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
