sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
