I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
