You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
