I just cut my nipple shaving
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
