Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
