next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
