remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
