Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
