Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
