You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
