I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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