Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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