guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
