i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
