I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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