I cannot find my penis.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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