so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
