Walk of Shame. In a state park.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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